I am lazy. There, I said it. I am one big ‘ol turdly piece of crap. I love to sit on my ass, (or preferably lay in my bed) and do nothing allll day long. However, just because I am being a piece doesn’t necessarily mean that I am not dreaming of other things I could be doing, like working or training with an URBNFIT balance disc or going to the gym.
1. I could be shopping for the perfect cereal bowl. Yes you asshole, a cereal bowl. My mother has a collection of antique bowls and crocks and all of them are either too small, or too big, or too heavy, and I’m getting all Goldilocks up on that shit. I just want a normal bowl to eat my Rice Krispies out of, and all the ones in this house are giving me a damn rash.
2. I could be painting my toenails. Summer is so rude when it comes to my feet. They are dry, and my polish is chipping, and ughhh it seems like they need constant upkeep. And I am just far too lazy to take that polish off and paint them, and then have to sit there and wait for them to dry. Let alone wait for a top coat to dry so they don’t chip as fast.
3. I could be finishing some freelance stuff. It would earn me some money, and hey what do you know..I don’t have a job. Seems pretty logical to do this then, right? Yeah, well, since I finished school i have this whole “You can’t make me meet a deadline because I’m not a student anymore” attitude going on. Not healthy, I know. Plus, ugh, I’m just not creative right now. It’s too hot. And I have no energy, I think I need to take some Auragin ginseng supplements.
4. I could be brushing my dog. He is a sheddy mess, and my mom wants to shave him nekkid. Not that I would really care..it might be kind of interesting to see a bulldog bald.
5. I could be vacuuming the floor. See 4.
6. I could be reading that new book I bought this week. Is it just me, or do you HATE starting new books? It seems like the first few chapters are all background and setting up the story and they are boring for awhile. Ugh, starting new books is a drag. Life is so tough.
7. I could be starving myself. Brad keeps talking about going to Cancun over Christmas, and if so, I need to get my beach bod on. Most people would say “hit the gym” I say “skip a meal.” It’s so much easier, and I’m soooo lazy. Plus, ewww, gyms smell weird. Like sweat and rubber.
8. I could be learning how to use that camera I paid so much for. Then maybe I could put some pictures on this website and it wouldn’t be such a drag to look at. Again…so time consuming.
Well, there you have it. 8 super productive things I could be doing, but I’m not. I probably should have thought of 10, but 10 was so much woooork!